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Wednesday, September 30, 2009
1:43 PM

...I never thought I'd think so but I can see how garters or garter belts can be quite useful. My thigh-high socks keep rolling down today and I've been having to pull them up every ten minutes in a very unlady-like fashion.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009
11:01 AM

There must be some kind of diagnosis that can be given for my annual Autumn blues. Its not S.A.D cuz it occurs before the weather turns colder. Well, its not really blues either, more like every time Fall comes around I feel a big urge for change and for a new beginning even though there is nothing much I am particularly dissatisfied with. I attribute this to still being used to having the school year start in the Fall.

However, along with this restlessness now comes a strong sense of nostalgia and frankly a feeling of missing the days of yore. This feeling makes me feel oh so old. I partially blame it for being enhanced by watching Felicity and Gilmore Girls over the weekend which brought me back to the time when I watched these shows when life revolved around school and the future was overwhelmingly full of possibilities. also, gilmore girls is kind of annoying...i apparently will like any show with a love triangle.

I think I miss being on a set path, knowing you are on your way to being something, and being excited about the future. Technically, we're all still on somewhat of a path, but not one with changes that I particularly look forward to...I am much more reluctant towards making the types of changes that may be occuring from this point onwards. I don't wish to be a grown up, which is funny because i think i grew out of being a child pretty early on.

I do love Autumn though, with the leaves and fall clothing, so its weird. Maybe I should go back to school and then I'll regret my words haha. or maybe I just need new challenges...hmm

Wednesday, May 13, 2009
3:18 PM When using the washroom facilities, "please" be considerate of others

this is the sign posted on the inside of the washroom stalls.

Its been posted for a number of months now and I still ponder it every time i'm in the washroom. First of all, what were these people doing who obviously weren't considerate of others? I hadn't noticed anything, I wonder who complained. and what is it asking of me? there are so many possibilities... try to be quieter when you go so others aren't put off? try not to make it smell too bad? leave the washroom quickly if someone else is there so they can go in peace? use less toilet paper to save trees? think about others in the world who don't have indoor plumbing and be thankful we do?

Also, why is "please" in quotations? is it a sarcastic please? is the word supposed to hint at something else?

I need help deciphering this washroom code...haha. i wonder if the same thing is posted on the other floors...

Friday, February 20, 2009
4:03 PM

I think I'm starting to hate this blog. Everytime i visit it as a portal to get to other people's blogs, I am annoyingly reminded of how I have absolutely nothing to say. it no longer serves a purpose.

yes.

Thursday, February 05, 2009
4:30 PM

in an attempt to try to consume more calcium, since i don't drink milk and actually think i might be getting mildly lactose intolerant and i also don't like the taste of the pill coating on vitamins (it makes me gag, any other kind like on tylenols or advils or gel caps are fine, just vitamins are gross), i decided to try eating calcium fruit chews.........they are so gross. bleeeeeeeeeh, i have only been able to force myself to eat i think 4 since i bought it months ago and i have to follow each one with an oreo cookie chaser. maybe the chocolate chews are better? i think the gummies are bad too. help me before i get osteoporosis by age 30.

Friday, January 30, 2009
4:40 PM 2009

the new year has started, and i seem to be getting busier and busier at work. must not let it infiltrate my non-work hours...

Random things:

- I'm gonna try to go rock climbing probably once a month or so so let me know if you want to come at any point. i think i got really out of shape last year...so must try to get better at least somewhat. tennis anytime.
- I bought a cello! I wanted a fancy electric one that you can plug headphones into, but in the end settled with a regular one cause someone was selling it for cheap. now i'm waiting for music to arrive. so far i can play stuff and not sound too horrible, but i still don't know if i'm holding it correctly and stuff cause it feels a bit ackward.
- I am really trying to improve my short term memory so i bought a puzzles book and am 1/4 the ways through it. i'm not sure if its actually helping me, or i'm just learning how to be good at sodokus and i have totally plateaued at crosswords. there's also this 1 type of puzzle i have no idea how to solve without guessing so i haven't been able to do it. that makes me sad.
- i want to go on vacation this year. it looks like iceland with irene and simon might be a go for august. hopefully we find some good deals there. i might also want to go somewhere warm at some point....we'll see.
- at some point, people have stopped calling me. i used to get calls all the time to go hang out, now no one bothers asking me anymore...well, other than wendy and victor. that's not nice :P i can do stuff! i just need to know when...i constantly feel like i haven't seen ppl in a while. or maybe that's just my poor memory...

Friday, November 28, 2008
4:07 PM

so, as simon looked to the past and decided to revive his blog, I have realized that I can no longer think of things to write about. There just aren't that many things now that I feel are significant enough to warrant writing about. I don't know how i used to feel that every little thing that happened or thought I had was worthy of being shared with everyone and commented on. Does this mean nothing interesting happens to me anymore? I would choose to think instead that I just take more things in stride and am less petty so there is less to rant about. or maybe there are more things that are going on now that they all kind of blend together and nothing sticks out as being the one thing that happened that day or week that i have to write about. or maybe i have run out of things to say that i haven't already said many times before. or maybe I just procrastinate less...no that can't be it. or maybe because only about 3 people actually read these blogs.

Every november and first half of december I have noticed that I dislike Christmas more and more. however, I find that come the middle of december, I am suddenly filled with Christmas spirit and run around singing carols all day and have the urge to decorate and make crafts and bake things. its strange. the holidays are too stressful. I'm so glad our group decided to give up on presents and spend that money instead on a nice weekend together once a year.

hope we do something nice for new years this year. its always a gamble.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008
4:07 PM

why does time pass so much faster the older you get? its just scary to think that the rest of your life everything will seem to go by faster and faster and then you're old and that's it.

so. I guess the moral is to have as much fun as you can while you're young. haha

I have been so unhealthy this year. barely exercising at all. eating whatever I want. being generally lazy and stationary. and yet i have no motivation to alter this behaviour haha. probably because fortunately it hasn't led to me gaining an obscene amount of weight yet. however, what i think is good is that I've been watching a lot less television and I'm shopping a lot less, so i can save my money to go out and do fun things.

I was talking to my coworker buddy i haven't seen in a while. he got married last year and he was saying his wife has started to want a baby cause one of their friends just had one. I thought he was going to make fun of her, but no, apparently they are planning on having a kid once they buy a place probably in the new year. i mini-freaked out haha. i don't wanna be a grown up yet...so everyone else should stop too. at some point it'll make me feel like i'm falling behind and that time is running out and i hate that kind of pressure. damn it, why must it be so.

i should've been born a dude haha.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008
9:40 AM

best quote of the trip:

"How many camels for your daughter?"

...turks are funny

Thursday, October 16, 2008
2:03 PM coffee

How I am not addicted to coffee. I think actually it is because I am too lazy 95% of the time to go downstairs buy it. We have good coffee here...yum organic dark roast with warm citrus notes. every time i really need it and actually make the trek down, it makes me happier. it is like a super cheap readily available and socially acceptable pick-me-up drug. literally the first sip is gold. i can feel the life returning to my blood. just holding it in the elevator on the way back upstairs comforted me.

and that is when i thought how it is that i can drink coffee so rarely if i seem to like it so much. i maybe have 1 cup every 2 weeks. that's pretty good. i also don't like it staining my teeth and that deters me. i met someone who drank coffee with a straw because of that, i wonder if that helps at all.

$1.50 buys a better afternoon.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008
2:06 PM In love with...

Antihistamines.

They are my one defense against ridiculously gross swelling of bug bites. also, they enabled me to see out of my left eye this past weekend cause i got bit on my eyelid within 30 seconds of arriving at the cottage, before i even had a chance to unPACK my bugspray. thankfully i only got about 5 other bites, which also died down once i was on the drugs. i only regret getting the meds 2 days later when we left, otherwise, i might not have a black eye now from the bruising that i have to cover up. anyways, i love drugs. but they do make me a little woozy...yess haha

Friday, August 08, 2008
1:07 PM short week

so, since steph has gone off on vacation, i have been ridiculously more productive at work haha...i was expecting some increase in efficiency, but this has fully surpassed my expectations. i mean, i'm even running errands during lunch. i think its also cause i haven't been tired at all during the day, don't know why. i've crossed out so many items on my to do list that it looks way too short now....anyways, its good, i can take my time with what i'm working on now which will be lengthier.

it bothers me when people complain about my ditching them when it is not true. next person who does that gets a dirty glare. it also bothers me when people don't make an attempt at being friendly or welcoming to a new person. next person who does that gets ditched.
hahahaha, j/k....maybe just once.

Thursday, July 31, 2008
1:52 PM

When I go into a stairwell with stairs going both up and down, without fail I will always choose to take the stairs up without thinking...never down. a number of times i've hit the top of the building before i realize i actually needed to go down the stairs from where i started. then i just feel really dumb and regret the wasted effort. i wonder what this says about me. maybe just that i should think more when approaching stairs...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008
1:52 PM cubicle envy

so now that i'm moved into my new cube in a much newer nicer building, it is much more comfortable than before. at least the wall/desk/shelving/carpet colours are coordinated and i have more space and a nice flat screen. however, though i feel my cube location is above average (close but not facing a printer, not close to any smelly ppl, not adjacent to the boss) i am still envious of some with super nice cubicles. either due to location or decor. there's one lady in my group who has like, matching photo frames hung up on her walls and nice plants and everything is super neat and clean, i walked in and without even saying hi i was just like "whoa, you have a really nice office". i meanwhile have 2 plants both of the cactus/succulent family since i figure they won't die, but they're not the most attractive things. not too envious of windows, cause they tend to be colder and you have your back facing it. I wish i could have windows behind my computer so i could look outside WHILE working. plus it would have to be warmer not colder...hmmm, what can i do to spruce up the cube...

Wednesday, July 02, 2008
3:22 PM yea summer!

So far we have not had the best weather this summer, but this weekend and canada day was great! baseball game in really nice friday night weather (though the jays sucked, it was infinitely more enjoyable when you're not melting in the sun), some rockclimbing and swimming and gelato/food inbetween on saturday, a couple errands on sunday then steph and gord's dinner party (which i am still impressed they pulled off), then yesterday was a super fun suuuper nice day for the beach and fireworks at night. must go back and actually play some vball instead of being lazy.

ok, folks, here are a few things that I will be doing this summer when the weather is forecasted to be good (like this weekend is!). Let me know right away if you want to come!
- Wild Water kingdom
- Metro Zoo
- go to Long Point, maybe stay for a night? haven't decided yet (my coworker says its her favourite beach around and lake erie is warmer than lake ontario or huron). Its only about 2.5 hours away so you can totally come back the same day if you want.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008
2:49 PM summary

Awesome trip to NYC! (we'll need to make up for not going out that night...)
Started new job (seems fun!)
Sick with stomach flu (I miss FOOD)
Ginormous eye lump (I really miss looking normal)
Sex and the City opens this week

Monday, May 12, 2008
11:15 AM show's over

awwww....its like the last day of camp is over and now i'm back at school again...

i hate saying goodbye to cool people i might not see again. :(

Tuesday, April 15, 2008
11:43 PM entertaining myself

whooooaaa, trippy. I just went back in the archives and read some posts from the first month I started this blog (which was in 2003! maaaaan, its been a long time). I have no recollection of any of the events that i was talking about. but it sure sounds like my thoughts. I am so amused with myself because its like i'm reading someone else's writing cause I don't remember what happened, but agree with everything they have to say. haha...i don't think i've changed at all...perhaps only in that i don't talk about every thought i have, and now use ellipses a bit less frequently. haha

highlights from october 2003:

"...i too have always wanted to be a kung fu master...but one who has a nice outfit and skills but never has to fight anyone..."

"...that's sad, when the act of your being happy makes strangers want to slap you.,."

"...someone needs to invent some sort of insulator that keeps tea at the hottest temperature possible below that which will scald your tongue..."

"...i wonder what it means when you're pregnant with someone's kid in a dream."

Monday, March 31, 2008
3:38 PM letters to yourself

i was listening to cbc radio a couple days ago and they were doing a feature where grown ups came in and read things that they had written when they were children. So like, diary entries, class homework assignments, stories, etc. It was pretty hilarious and cute. Also, seeing as some of them were from when they were as young as 7, there are some pretty darn articulate children haha. even as like 12 year olds some of them were pretty well written. haha

So I went to thinking what I'd have from when I was young, and I have nothing, it was all thrown out. and to think i'm an only child. doesn't that mean i'm supposed to be loved more? haha

Anyways, I think I have somewhere a diary/notebook i started when i was probably about 8. but its only got a few entries, and i vaguely recall coming across it once and having no clue what the heck i was writing about. I remember one page had drawings of swans on it and "love is in the air" scrawled all over. i do not know what that means. hahaha....then later i think i tried to start another diary at around 13. I have a feeling that second one has some pretty stupid things in it. haha, but also its stupid cause i was always aware that it could be found and someone would read it, so i avoided all things incriminating. haha.

I also somewhere or other, have all the letters and postcards and cards that anyone has written me over the years. I don't think i can throw out things other people give me. then i think if other people did the same with things i give them, or if they were tossed out a long time ago...that makes me sad.

I think in general though, after i write anything, even if i think its a great poem or short story or letter or narration or song at the time, give it a year, and if i read it again it makes me feel like an idiot (this is referring to non-academic writings...haha). That one time i had to give the police a written statement (mind you this is in university), then 8 months later was handed a copy of it in case the court called on me to read it out...i stared at it and thought, they better not call on me. this is retarded. i will sound like i'm in grade 3. haha....I can't even stand to read archived posts for this blog. i wonder why this is....perhaps its also linked to why i hate being videotaped. hmmmmmm......

One thing i do regret is not having written those letters to yourself as a kid. like, 10 year old cammie writes a letter to 25 year old cammie about what I would be like, what I would be doing, imparting my 10 year old wisdom to myself now...that would be fun to read.

Thursday, March 20, 2008
3:41 PM secrets and lies

Although when thought of objectively, being secretive and lying are not the same, and certainly one doesn't imply the other, it is very difficult to keep any secrets without lying at all. So then are all people who have secrets liars? i guess if your secret is something extremely odd and specific it might never come up so you might never have to outright lie about it, but I'm sure that at some point in your life someone would ask you a general question and it would come to mind and in order to avoid divulging it you'd have to lie around it....I suppose this is why some sensitive questions are just never asked. I know i avoid asking questions that i deem are too risky... like lose-lose questions, lose if its not the answer i want, lose if it is but i think they are lying, lose if they get angry at me for asking.

then, are you more disdainful of secretive people or liars? i feel like people who are secretive never think of themselves really as liars because they don't feel their lies affect anyone other than themselves and are forced into it only to protect their privacy. but is this a legitimate argument? if faced with circumstances where you are to address something you are not prepared to do, would it be better to lie around it so you are left alone suspicion-free, or to acknowledge there is something that you are not prepared to share? although it seems sensible to do the latter, this usually results in someone feeling dejected that you don't trust them enough or even feel that you are acting superior in a way. Obviously it is worse to lie when it is something that affects/involves that person. but if its a lie about only yourself....that's a tough call. who would know other than your guilty conscience (also...this is why i have a guilty conscience. haha). I'm sure everyone agrees that a person is entitled to their secrets...so would you rather be lied to or told you aren't privy to it?

Also, I'm not one of those ppl who thinks a lie of omission is a lie. its not. not saying something because it never came up is not the same as being asked to your face and lying about it. however, there is a fine line though which is i suppose where ppl get into trouble. it takes a degree of courage to ask a tough question, and ppl can't be expected to answer to these without a person having the guts to ask it.

I am also not an advocator of knowing everything. there are some things that are just better left unknown. like if someone cheats, and they have decided and know that it'll never ever happen again...let it be. nothing good would come of telling anyways. and even if you tell the partner and they accept it...they'll just never trust you quite the same. of course, the key would be not to cheat in the first place...haha. or say you did something stupid and dangerous, and you know you won't do it again. it would not help you to tell your parents you did this stupid act. haha...

wow. i didn't know i had so much to say on lying. interesting. One thing i have to say though, through the years, I am actually becoming worse and worse at lying. I used to be a top notch liar...I think its because its all or nothing. you either keep a lot of stuff secret and lie about a lot of things, or you are open about everything and then its harder to keep anything secret.

btw, don't ask me what my secrets are, i won't tell, at least not unless its the right time and place. haha...but if you ever feel like divulging YOUR secrets, i'm sure it'll be a huge weight lifted of your shoulders, I am always available. and if specified, i will totally lie about knowing anything. haha

Wednesday, February 27, 2008
11:10 AM

bleeeeeeeh...I'm all sore and headachey and tired and just want to drink soup and crawl into bed. I'm not sure if I'm getting sick or just been too busy lately and not eating very well...but i feel yucky.

I wanted to respond to simon's post (not bickering, just my opinion haha) in that my view of adulthood is not in what a person has (job, house, etc.) but their level of maturity, how they care for others and responsibility for their actions, no matter what they do. Whether someone has a vested interest in global events or politics, or prefers to work to earn money for their family's dream house just reflects what their values are. it doesn't make any one of them more or less mature. Really, most people need to address their own needs and their family's first before they tackle the rest of the world's. It could also be taken that those who don't do this are in fact less "adult" with less duty and responsibilities. so the argument can go both ways. Also, I am not trying to stick up for ppl who don't have a clue what's going on in the world...i think its important to be informed. but i also sense from the post the tendency to feel like ppl with steady jobs/married lives look down on those who are single and have broader life goals....but the inverse is also true, I am sure that to a degree you look down on these ppl just as much as you feel they do to you.

Also, I have no idea how this relates to whether or not you went away for university.....i still think it would be awesome if our lives were like in Friends...haha

Friday, February 15, 2008
1:22 PM

The one day i decide to wear mascara to work cause its not snowing or raining.....i squirt myself in the eye with tangerine juice....ow.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008
2:40 PM Good fortune in love and a better position

I ate a fortune cookie at the end of December 2007 that said "Good fortune in love and a better position". I was like.....aaawwwwesome, that is literally all i could think of wanting in a fortune. of course i am taking a better position to be reference to a better job, haha. I am going to save it until the end of 2008 and if it ends up being true i'll frame it or something. hahahaha

I think I am more intrigued and affected by my dreams than the average person. Its like the one connection to the subconscious and makes me wonder why i dream up certain people/events/etc. Sometimes it actually causes me to see a person in a new light, or at least temporarily, haha. also...sometimes they're just plain cool. or even if its weird or disturbing its interesting to analyse what it means. besides for my own pondering, its even more interesting when you find out that certain specific odd things are very commonly dreamt about and i guess ppl have interpreted a meaning of some sort to that symbol. (like how i thought i was crazy for the recurring dreams where my teeth fall out at some point, you'd think that's weird, but its apparently one of the most common things people dream about and is supposed to signify a change about to happen or something....isn't it weird that so many ppl dream about this?). Although I'm not a particularly big fan of dream symbolism per se, cause i don't think that every single object in a dream has a distinct meaning...

So anyways, I need to find Dr. Cameron and in her infinite wisdom she will impart me with the secret to my happiness. I'm still waiting....haha, too bad there is no continuation to this cliffhanger episode.

Monday, February 11, 2008
12:35 PM

man, I just discovered "labelling" in gmail a few days ago and its great! my inbox has never been so organised! yeaaaa....

another snowboarding trip with no injuries. although i almost injured my elbow, i landed on it while turning and felt it hyperextend inwards before i could snap it back out. it should be fine in a couple days. i seriously feel like every time i hit the slopes the probability of my getting hurt increases cause i'm due for it. hahaha i hope not though.

ok, not much to say. later.

Friday, January 18, 2008
1:03 PM

work.....has...been...riiiiiidiculous. i have way too much to do that's just been shoved at me all at once and its all someone else's huge mess of a project that i am trying to fix but will bring about many new problems in doing so....plus i have to take care of my own project that no one else is helping with. plus the other project i work on that keeps losing people....help. man i actually used my laptop for work most nights this week...i didn't think i would when i bought it, haha.

i will either be really sleepy or drowning in drinks when we go out tonight...haha

Thursday, January 03, 2008
3:42 PM 2008 begins!

Recently i was told i should put together a list of resolutions to keep, and i adamantly refused. Mostly because i know the list would become huge and i'll never keep them (speaking from experience) and then i'd feel guilty all the time that i'm not keeping them and in the end i'll feel like i failed. why create additional pressure and opportunity for dissappointment? haha...Also, I am quite happy to ignore the areas of improvement and be ignorantly blissful. or at least try to be. i don't think i can ever truly be ignorant nor subsequently blissful. haha but it also made me think is it wrong not to make concrete goals for yourself? goals you want to have acheived within the year. how else will you do things you say you will if you just wait to do it "sometime". but then i would actually have to figure out what things i want to acheive, which in itself is difficult. hmmmmm.....in any case, if i make a list, i will try not to be overly ambitious. but even then i already have little faith in myself. haha...boooooo...resolutions are hard.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007
3:06 PM wedding bells be ringing

...I think they'll be ringing non-stop for the next 2 years. haha, its all Vanessa and Alex's fault. Their wedding was so awesome and fun that now everyone else wants to get married too! Congrats to the handful of to-be-wedded! 2008 will be the start of lots of planning and freakouts, tons of wedding talk, many awesome celebrations, and some very happy giddy people (plus a few tears, per Wendy's request). It will also be a test of my organizational skills...haha, looking forward to it.

YAAAY! alright...bring on the weddingness...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007
4:57 PM

it often astounds me how much listening to particular music when I'm alone affects how I feel and what I think about. Honestly, people who are predisposed to being depressed should be banned from listening to sad music. its like...dangerous. haha...but of course, just like how I tend to like rather morbid, evocative paintings, it seems almost satisfying when you allow yourself to indulge and settle in whatever mood or emotion that is evoked, then wrap it up and put it away once the music is over. There's nothing wrong with happy music... its just not the same.

my eyeballs are healing from surgery. I can see fine, although one eye is a bit better than the other, but the bloody-looking-ness will last for a few weeks. its distracting for people...steph, i hope yours are healing alright. I hope its not bad for them that i've been staring at the computer 8 hours a day...

Thursday, November 08, 2007
1:02 PM

do people read blogs anymore? haha...i feel like only maybe 4 people do. maybe its just uncool now. haha

last night i spent like 200 bucks in a couple hours on i don't even know what. haha...all i was looking to buy was a couple of cheap plates and to pick up my new phone. didn't get around to the phone. haha.... I went to...the dollar store...kitchen stuff plus....ikea...and the LCBO. yay stuff. i decided to stock up on wine since december is coming around. Also, all those darn LCBO magazines just make you want to drink. their marketing scheme works so well. hahaha....also, i bought a bunch of those ginger thins from Ikea....i hate that they're so addictive, i'm done 2/3 of the pack already. I never knew I'd like buying houseware stuff so much. i can't wait to have my own place, it'll be awesome. but i guess i'll also be very poor and it'll take a while to get all the stuff i want. Maybe I'll wait a few months to get laser eye and go shop for a new bed instead. haha....

i hate the cold. its so dark when i leave work now. and the coldness makes me crave carbs and desserts. haha...and not really exercising much now on top of that is a bad combination.

Friday, November 02, 2007
4:07 PM

Do you ever find that when you have multiple things on your mind, they kind of collide with each other so that you end up not thinking about anything? I've been finding this quite interesting....its like, you start thinking about one thing, then right when you start fretting about it, you remember that other thing you need to worry about, and then something else too, and then you just come out from inside your head and stop because it would take too much effort to figure everything out anyways. haha...as always...laziness wins. There is however a certain satisfaction in dwelling on something until it is completely thought out and you come to a conclusion. you feel so productive. however, the problem with this is rarely do you actually come to a conclusion......and so its usually a vicious cycle of wasted thought energy.

this is weird. i can't think of anything to write about at all. its abnormal for me to be so devoid of thought...and complaint. haha....ah well. i hope it snows for blue mountain. also, i need to know how many are coming over on Nov 10.